Knitting is the new Nintendo

It's time.

Knitting is the new Nintendo has had it's day. Thank you to any loyal followers for taking the time to read my posts!

But I've started two new adventures in the last few months of 2015 and now into 2016.

The first is Kozy Knittens. I turned my love for knitting into a small business and I'm really happy about it. You can see more details here: kozyknittens.blogspot.ca

The second is Her Mountain Adventures. I realized that if I was going to blog mostly about my hikes I should narrow the focus and hopefully find a following who seeks that specific content. You can see that venture here: hermountainadventures.blogspot.ca


I wish you well on all of the adventures life takes you on!

The duties of a receptionist are commonly known, the main one being: answering incoming calls to the office. But unless you've been in a phone oriented role yourself you probably have no idea what types of phone conversations are even possible, I sure didn't and I am still experiencing new and interesting callers that I keep adding to the bottom of this list as I write it! I felt it would be fun to share 30+ samples of interesting phone calls that I get (thankfully not all in one day though).

Perhaps you have once answered a call like this, or perhaps you were once that caller. Either way, enjoy!

The Holder
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Can you hold?
Me: uh...
Caller: *beep...beep...beep*
Me: *click*
The Unprepared
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Oh, uh, hi. um... one second, I have it here somewhere...I think it's, um, I just need to find it...is it Joe? Sure, can I talk to Joe please?

The Possible Prankster?
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Tree Grass
Me: sorry who?
Caller: Tree Grass
Me: Tree Grass?
Caller: Yes.
Me: I'm sorry I don't have anyone here by that name...
(note: I did not make up the name Tree Grass for this scenario)

The Incomprehensible
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi can I spsdkeak wislkth aslfjlskj aldskjlaj?
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't quite get that, who is it you're looking for?
Caller: aasdlfj ladksjflj.
Me: You're a bit choppy, what is the name?
Caller: SDLFKJS LSDLJKJD!
Me: I'm sorry, but I really cannot understand you.
Caller: BOB JOHNSON!
The Blonde
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Reception please
Me: *facepalm

The Generic
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: John Doe
Me: John Doe?
Caller: Yes.
Me: I'm sorry I don't have anyone here by that name.
(note: I did not make up the name John Doe for this scenario)

The Difficult & Persistent
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: IT please.
Me: One moment...
1 minute later
Me:  Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, I just called, no body answered. Who else can I talk to?
Me: Let me try someone else, perhaps Carl was away from his desk...
1 minute later
Me:  Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: *agitated* Hi, nobody is answering their phones, I need to speak with someone right now.
Me: I'm sorry, unfortunately I cannot see who is at their desk at this moment. Would you like to leave a voicemail so that they can call you back when they are free?
Caller: No I do not leave voicemail's, try someone else.
Me: One moment.
1 minute later
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: *Raging Bull* Does anybody there answer their phones or are they all off partying somewhere?! Can you go make sure someone is at their desk to answer the phone?
Me: I'm sorry I can't do that right now, perhaps your best option is to leave a voicemail because otherwise you could be calling here all day.
Caller: Fine. *mumbles under breath*
Me: One moment...
The Callback
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, someone called me from there.
Me: You have reached the reception desk.
Caller: Did you call me?
Me: No. Do you know someone that works for Company Name?
Caller: No, I don't think so...
Me: Perhaps they will call you back if it's important.
Caller: Ok

The Vague
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, I'm looking for someone, but I don't remember his name...he's the guy with the accent.
Me: Uh...
Caller: He's like 5ft something and has dark hair.
Me: You don't know his name?
Caller: No
Me: Do you know what he does here, his job title maybe?
Caller: No
Me: Well then, that could be anyone...

The Out of Date
Me: Good morning,Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Jane Smith please.
Me: Hmmm...I do not have anyone here by that name. Can I ask what you are calling regarding?
Caller: How about Joe Richards?
Me: No, sorry, no one by that name either.
Caller: Barbra Williams?
Me: She's no longer with the company...
Caller: I'll just check my records and call back.
The Detail Oriented
Me: Good afternoon, company name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, I'm Mike Smith from Company Name, and we bought product from you last month and I have a question about 'these specs and those specs' and 'uses big technical terminology about product'.
Me: Okay...How can I direct your call to help you with that?
Caller: I'm hoping to talk to someone about it.
Me: Yes, let's see then, do you know if you have an account manager?
Caller: I think the name on my page is Lyle Loblaw.
Me: Okay... I'll transfer to you him, one moment...

The Corrector
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Bob please.
Me: Bob Johnson?
Caller: I think it's Bob JoHansen.
Me: Sure...

The Unresponsive
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: *silence*
Me: Hello?
Caller: *some background noise*
Me: Hmm I can hear you, why don't I hang up and call you back.
Caller: *click*

Is any bunny there?

The Language Barrier
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: 一些奇怪的字符串，我不知道它說的話
Me: Um do you speak English?
Caller: 更多的外來詞
Me: I'm sorry, I don't think I can help you...

The Personification
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Company Name please.
Me: This is Company Name.
Caller: Great!
Me: ...

The Lost
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: How do I get to your building?
Me: Um, where are you?
Caller: Driving north on Highway 1 and just passed a gas station.
Me:Why don't I just Google that for you...
The Confused
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Who?
Me: Company Name
Caller: Who's that?
Me: I think you must have the wrong number.
Caller: Ok

The Hard of Hearing
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Who?
Me: Company Name
Caller: Pardon?
Me: *louder* Company Name
Caller: I'm not sure...
Me: *Louder and slower* Com-pa-ny Nammmeee
Caller: I must have a wrong number.

The Procrastinator
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, can you transfer me to Jane Walters?
Me: Sure one moment.
1 minute later
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, I just called, she didn't answer
Me: It's possible she's left for the day.
Caller: Can you go check?
Me: Sorry, no...
Caller: It's urgent personal matter.
Me: It's Friday at 4:45pm, do you have another way of contacting her?
Caller: Ya I guess I can try her cell.
Me: Perfect.
The TMI (too much info)
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi can I speak with John Smith?
Me: I'm sorry he doesn't have an extension so I have no way of connecting you to him. Can I ask what you are calling regarding? If it's related to Company Name I might be able to find someone else to help you.
Caller: It's about Martha and she has an infection and has to go to the doctor and her daughter got suspended and the dog had diarrhea all over the house and the collection agency is calling...
Me: Uh... I don't think anyone here can help with that, do you have another way of contacting her?
Caller: Ya I think so.

The Voicemail
I once came into work on a Monday morning to a lengthy voicemail from a middle aged sounding and very British lady that went vaguely like this:
Caller: Hi, I'm looking for my sister. Her last know whereabouts was *English location* and I haven't seen her since. The police are helping me try to find her. She used to live with and take care of her boyfriend, but he had some mental issues. He had her to shave *unmentionable areas* and I didn't like that and I hope that I can find her again because she's my sister....Please call me back at this number and help me find her.

The Bossy
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi can you page Jane Smith for me?
Me: I can transfer you.
Caller: No I need you to page her.
Me: I'm sorry we don't do that here.
Caller: Well she didn't answer last time, can you go tell her I called?
Me: I'm sorry I can't do that.
Caller: Fine then.

The Echo
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Is this Company Name?
Me: Yes this is Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Direct my call?
Me: Yes. How can I help you...

The Way Off 
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Is this Jake's phone?
Me: No, this is Company Name.
Caller: Is this 555-123-1234?
Me: No this is 555-321-4321.
Caller: oh ok
1 minute later
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi Jake?
Me: No this is Company name.
Caller: But I dialed 555-123-1234.
Me: This is a completely different number.
Caller: I'll have to talk to Jake.
Me: You should do that.

The Assumer
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Can I speak with Carl Matthews please?
Me: He's out of the office currently.
Caller: I'll call his cellphone instead. Is his number 555-222-3333?
Me: I'm not sure actually. I don't know his personal number off the top of my head...
The Sicky
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, this is Mark Thompson.
Me: Hi.
Caller: I'm not going to make it in to work tonight.
Me: Do you have your supervisor's number to let them know?
Caller: Well I just need to let you know.
Me: This is reception, you need to let your supervisor know.
Caller: I hate all this rigmarole stuff. When I can't make it in for 4am and ain't feeling well what am I supposed to do then?
Me: I'm sure your supervisor would have let you know the procedure to call in sick...Do you work for Company Name?
Caller: No I work for Other Company Name.
Me: I think you have the wrong number.

The Huh?
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Joe Smith please
Me: One moment...
1 minute later
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hi, Joe didn't answer, can you try again and put me on ignore?
Me: I'm not sure what you mean.
Caller: Like I need to speak with him so if you can put me through but *pause* *mumbled noises* to orbit *pause* to ignore *pause* Joe *pause*
Me: Would you like me to transfer you?
Caller: Can you page him?
Me: No, I'm sorry I can't do that.
Caller: What about Company Something?
Me: Do you mean Company Name?
Caller: He contacted me from Form Pro.
Me: I don't know what that is.
Caller: I need to speak with him, he called me and I was returning his call.
Me: Did you leave a voicemail for him the last time I put you through?
Caller: Yes, it's of great urgency.
Me: I'm sure that if he called you first and you left a voicemail, he will call you back when he gets a chance.
Caller: When you see him can you tell Tom called?
Me: I work out of a different office so I'm sorry, no.
Caller: Oh. Okay.
Me: Have a nice day!

The Collector
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Accounts Payable please.
Me: One moment...
1 minute later
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: I've tried the A/P department several times now and nobody is answering and there is no voicemail.
Me: Yes, that is odd...Let's try someone else in the same department then...
The Interupter
Me: Good morning, Compa/
Caller: *abruptly* Bob Johnson.
Me: ...no problem...

The Repeater
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hello, I am Tina calling from random agency, may I speak with Tom Jones please?
Me: I don't have anyone on my extension list by that name, can I ask what you are calling regarding and maybe someone else can assist.
Caller: Is this company name?
Me: Yes that is correct.
Caller: Does Tom Jones work for Company Name?
Me: I do not have anyone by that name on my phone list, it is possible he works here, but I have no way to connecting you to him if he doesn't have a phone. May I try someone else for you?
Caller: No I need to speak with Tom.
Me: Do you have another way of contacting him?
Caller: I have his email.
Me: Perhaps that would be good to try.
Caller: Ok
1 hour later
Me: Good morning, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hello, this is Tina from random agency, may I speak with Tom Jones please?
Me: Hi, I believe you called already today, I am unable to connect you with a Tom Jones.
Caller: Oh, Tom Jones doesn't work for Company Name?
Me: I'm going to spare you the speal. Did you try his email address?
Caller: No
Me: Maybe you should.
Caller: Ok
In the afternoon
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: Hello, this is Tina from random agency, may I speak with Tom Jones please?
Me: I would like to ask you to remove this number from your call list please.
Caller: Does Tom Jones not work for Company Name?
Me: Tina. We've been through this.
Caller: Oh ok

The Automated
Me: Good afternoon, Company Name, how may I direct your call?
Caller: YOU HAVE BEEN SELEC/
Me: *click*


The end.
But likely not nearly...haha


Note: All names are fictional, but a version of these calls has happened to me at least once if not a few times. Only in a few instances such as the The TMI scenario did I make up some details as my memory failed me to the exact content of the conversation.

There's not much more to say!

Instead of making my own 'how to' I've attached the video that I used to learn. It's 10 min, but thorough.

The {Arm Knit} Infinity Scarf
Supplies:
-2 balls of super bulky yarn  - I use Wool-Ease Thick & Quick that has 92yd/84m and it is enough that it wraps around loosely 2x or snugly 3x
-scissors

Directions:
-It's the exact same as knitting with needles, just imagine your arms are the needles!
-Double up the yarn and knit together one strand from each ball
-Cast on 12 stitches
-Knit until you've got about 2m of yarn left, cast off, and hand stitch it together.

Watch this video!


Just in time for a lovely crisp autumn! Happy knitting :)

 I have to say, I think Rummel Lake is one of my favorite hikes so far. We didn't have the most ideal day for hiking as it was overcast and drizzly, but nonetheless the views were still beautiful and I can only imagine how spectacular it'd be on a clear day! I think the fall colours might have had something to do with my enjoyment of the ambiance of the hike as well. The yellow larch trees and partially fallen leaves are just so pretty this time of year!

Rummel Lake
Difficulty: easy
Round trip: 8.6km
Hiking Time: 3-4 hrs
Elevation Gain: 355m
FitBit: approx 19,000 steps and 155 floors
This trail head is not marked (and no facilities), to find it from Canmore you'll need to get going south on the Smith-Dorrien (Hwy 742). Turn your odometer to 0 when passing the Nordic Center on your right and your destination is approximately 34km from there. You'll see a sign for Rummel Creek and shortly after turn right (W) onto Mt. Shark Road, signed for Engadine Lodge. There is a grassy pullout immediately to the left, but as some do, they also park on the side of the road beside the trail head, which is at the top of the T of the intersection (the E side of Hwy 742, your left when coming from Canmore).

Directions From Calgary - click for Google Maps

The start of the hike is through the trees on a well defined path where you'll gain most of the elevation at a steady, but very manageable, rate and it levels out part way which I quite liked (versus the hikes that have a steep incline at the end...). Thus it doesn't take long into your day, and with not too much effort, to have a nice view of the surrounding mountains above the treeline!

A Spruce Grouse

You will enter a thicker part of the forest, where the path is lined with roots so watch your step. It opens up again and you will find yourself near to Rummel Creek. There are some planks laid across the water which you may take and when you come to an actual bridge a little farther up you'll want to go back across (otherwise you'll be on the snowshoe trail meant for winter). However, you should really just skip the planks and continue straight ahead. You'll rock hop a bit (how fun :) beside the embankment where the path appears to disappear, but it picks up on the other side. (Trust me, it's not hard).

Option 1 (take next the bridge back across when you come to it)

Option 2 (it's not as bad as it looks)

From either approach you'll continue E. You will see a sign that says Avalanche Territory Do Not Enter (i.e. don't go there in winter...) Being the end of September there was remnants from an earlier snowfall, but not enough to avalanche thankfully!
There are a couple of beautiful cascades over stair-like rocks, at the second one your path will narrow along the bank for maybe 30m, it's a bit of a rush, but nothing to be afraid of. On the other side you'll continue on a boot beaten path at the base of a small rock slide.

Can't see the path, but that's where we came across.

We then came to a point not mentioned in my book. The path appeared to continue straight, but there was a cairn and ribbons marking a  route left through the trees. We opted to follow the ribbon route.
You'll then come to be beside the creek again and when the path appears to end ahead you actually have two options. We didn't realize this at the time so we took a right up the bank, it looked like the most obvious path. But in fact as we discovered on the way down you can rock hop across the creek here from the other side, so that is an option too.
The lake is not far ahead, 10 min if I remember correctly. You'll know it when you see it :)
We spent some time snapping lots of pictures and then sitting to enjoy our PB&J. We were the only ones there other than a man who came a few min behind us and he meandered off to the other side of the lake to do some fishing. It's a spectacular serene place.
Our hope was to also do Rummel Pass, but we ran out of time. We ventured along the main trail over to the north side of the lake and up the rocky slope and got some great snaps of the lake from there, but we did not go further, so next time! In total we were out for just over 4 hours.
On the way down we thought we'd try to go the route we thought might connect with the bridge from the other side, but when we got to the creek again it appeared that the path ended and we were forced to hop across again to continue on the original path. Since then I've read that's what we were wanting to do for the way back was the snowshoe trail so I'll have to look it up in my snowshoeing book and see what it says. Nonetheless it was a great hike and I can't wait to do it again, but all the way to the Pass!

I made a cairn!

Happy Hiking!

6:01AM Wake up so early coffee is the only way to possibly keep your eyes open. They need to be particularly perky for the pictures later.

7:05AM Run around frantically making sure you have everything you need for forever before you dash out the door (makeup, dress, clutch, heels, gift, card, phone, keys, cash, umbrella, kitchen sink, and sanity).

7:20AM Sit in car for 10 minutes waiting for other bridesmaids to meet you at hotel, because clearly you overestimated the busyness of traffic at 7AM on a Saturday morning...

7:46AM Fellow bridesmaid shares how her fiance was questioning why she had to get up so early just to get ready for a wedding... you all laugh!

8:15AM Arrive at the parent's of the bride's home with fellow bridesmaids, come bearing coffee for all.

8:20AM Wander around aimlessly until someone gives you directions on what you should be doing.

8:21AM Makeup! Putting makeup on your face is a good idea, do that. Ensure that it is more bold than usual, but not so out there that it would take any attention off of the bride. Note: Mascara must be waterproof.

8:45AM Time to kill? Take pictures, lots of pictures. Getting ready and decoration pictures.

9:02AM Eat breakfast, nutrition is important. Stay hydrated and well nourished throughout the day. Nobody wants a fainting bridesmaid. Once again distracting attention from the bride is a big no-no so eat those eggs and drink that orange juice!

9:15AM More time to kill? Time for some Facebook and Instagram. Social media: the biggest time waster of all...and essential to tell the world exactly what you are doing at this very moment.

9:37AM Pose as photographer takes some fun pictures of you girls pretending to do hair and makeup together. You grab the curling iron and pretend to curl your hair, but your hair is a straight as a board. Nobody is going to believe that acting...should have thought that through.

9:50AM Hair is next! For real this time! Show pictures to the stylist so she knows what you want. Be prepared for it to look nothing like the picture, however it will still be beautiful, just keep smiling! But don't smile too much while she hairspray's your hair until it can't possibly move anymore because you don't want it to get in your teeth.

10:45AM Time to get dressed! Put on your dress, and please don't smush your hair in the process. And make sure you have everyone check out your bum in the sun to make sure you can't see your unmentionables underneath, nothing shall take attention of the bride this day! (Side note: how can two layers of fabric still be somewhat sheer?!)

11:00AM Smile pretty as the photographer takes some nice pictures of you and fellow bridesmaids. Show off your pearly whites! You need to practice for later right? But first let me take a selfie!

11:15AM The Bride is getting dressed and having portraits done so now you wait... they don't let you see her yet and it's torturous. Why? Because you're her bridesmaids!

11:52AM Crunch time, the wedding is in just over an hour, up until now time has crawled like a sloth stuck in glue, but now switches to a hummingbird on redbull. Press panic button now.

11:57AM It's time for the bridesmaids first look with your dear Bride. Head upstairs, but stop just before the top. Close eyes and let the photographer position you into the doorway for a photo. No peeking! So excited you can feel the emotion welling. She counts and gives the word and you open your eyes. Your Bride is absolutely stunning! At first you're just smiling, but then the tears well. Keep it together...fine, just a few happy tears. Your dear friend is getting married and you are just so ecstatic for her you can't help it.

11:59AM Hug Bride gently, do not get tears on the dress, do not smudge makeup, there is no time for touch ups.

12:05PM Photographer takes a few posed shots of the girls with tea cups and saucers, feels so classy and elegant!

12:12PM Time to go!! Once again, frantically run around making sure you have everything needed and jam it all into the car, hope you didn't forget anything.

12:25PM Blast the 'Watch Me Nae Nae' song in the car and dance like there's no tomorrow. Pull up beside the Bride's car and take pictures of her making faces. Pretty sure that scared look is fake right?

12:39PM Pull into the parking lot at the park early. Pick jaw up off ground. Are bridal party's ever this early!? Bop to the Nae Nae song some more. Take selfie with Bride.

12:43PM Secure Kleenex in bouquet...just in case.

12:50PM Time to make way over to ceremony site. Walk carefully as heels and grass don't always get along. Bridesmaids in position create shield around Bride so she can't be seen by meandering or late guests. Cross fingers that doggy in the park isn't too friendly.

12:58PM Hide behind the bushes from ceremony site. Can see guest and hear the music faintly. Nerves and excitement rise.

12:59PM Take time for prayer. Pray over the bride, the day, and the marriage. Uber important. Keep tears at bay, not the time, you only have one Kleenex.

1:00PM It's starting!

1:02PM Bridesmaid's cue to walk. Wait, a leaf! Is it too late to stop? All that time waiting and your fellow bridesmaid has a bright yellow leaf stuck around her heel. It's too late. You walk across a little footbridge and across the grass to where the guests are seated. Having practiced this numerous times at the rehearsal you rock it. The little Pacman group gingerly yet elegantly makes your way across the green doing your best not to aerate it too much as you go.

1:03PM Walk down aisle. Smile. Not too much, make pace with bridesmaid ahead, not too fast, not too slow, cheeks are quivering, this feels unnatural. Hold bouquet just right. Make eye contact with someone, don't sink into the grass, eye contact with Mother of the Bride, yes, happy natural smile :) Take place at front. Nailed it!

1:04PM The Bride and her father step out and walk towards the ceremony site. So happy, so beautiful, so perfect. Eyes well once again, but smiling comes easy.

1:10PM Sing hymns without the words: "Wa-ter-mel-on, waaa-ter-melon". Air band practice in grade five has now paid off.

1:21PM Feel something on leg. Do. Not. Panic. Keep calm. Casually look down and brush it off. It wasn't a spider so you're okay. Quickly scratch the itch and ignore it.

1:28PM They are pronounced Husband & Wife! Yay! Everyone claps and cheers! What a beautiful ceremony, and you didn't even need the Kleenex!

1:30PM Walk over to picture site with bridal party. Heart swells watching the Bride and Groom walking together hand in hand ahead. Such love <3

1:35PM Two other bridal parties are in the same location for photos. Dual it out? You could take them! Photographer opts for side spot on bridge. Still beautiful. Wait while family gets photos taken.

1:50PM Ringbearer from other party starts to cry. Not gonna lie, a Scottish kilt on the little guy is pretty adorable.

1:56PM Watch other parties take photos. Not judging, but your Bride is prettier, your colours, and dresses are nicer, and your party looks out for others. Fellow bridesmaid goes to tell neighbor bride that there is a tree branch stuck in the tulle of her dress. Bias to the max :)

2:13PM Mother of the Bride and Maid of Honour come bolting across the bridge, cruise past and take their stance on the 'photo spot' when the other party is finished.

2:20PM Your Bridal Party takes places and photographer snaps a few photos. Smile, look into the distance, look at Bride, be natural, have fun, but don't squint too much from the sun!

2:30PM Time to drive to second location for more bridal party photos. Fellow Bridesmaid has so generously brought protein bars for snacks, but they are almost liquid from the heat in the car. So hungry, so yummy, eat very carefully and do not, I repeat, do not get chocolate on dress!!

3:00PM Bridal party photo fun time! Do as told: stand here, walk there, look over, make silly face, hold the veil, pretend that, help with bride's dress, smile pretty, look serious, pray that your face actually looks like you think it does in your head!

3:47PM Feet tired. Succumb to temptation and remove shoes. Grass feels nice. Note, do not step on ant hill. Sit down and eat some snacks, thank the Groomsmen for bringing food!

3:58PM Someone comes running and says there is a tow truck. Fellow Bridesmaid and Groomsman go running to move the vehicles. Cheer them on while you continue to relax on the lawn. Turns out tow truck is just chilling out. No need to panic.

4:10PM Watch Bride have pictures taken. She is extra beautiful, must be the 'newlywed glow' :) Snap a few of own photos.

4:30PM Stay hydrated! Fellow Bridesmaid, voluntells groomsmen to bring Starbucks. He takes orders and you ask for a PSL Frapp, it's code he doesn't understand. They bring the drinks and all are happy. Yay!

5:00PM Bridal party is released from photo fun time. Time to head to cocktail hour at the hotel.

5:30PM Arrive at hotel and take time in washroom to freshen up. Panic because deodorant is missing. Resign to the fact that you may be a smelly bridesmaid. Decide to touch up makeup, open makeup case and there is deodorant! Confirm to self, sometimes you're too smart for your own good...

5:40PM Mix and mingle at cocktail hour, eat some yummy food, take photos of the deorations, and catch up with friends.

6:25PM Bride and Groom arrive and bridal party gets ready for fabulous entrance.

6:30PM Bride and Groom announced into reception for the first time as Mr. & Mrs. :) Happy Happy Day!

6:35PM MC introduces bridal party. Stand briefly and do the queen wave casually when announced, smile and sit, the show is not about you after all.

6:45PM The head table is served dinner. Eat gracefully, you never know who is watching! Fellow Bridesmaid casually puts spoon on nose. Take picture.

7:48PM Dessert is ready, but the chocolate mousse cake has run out. Linger awkwardly at dessert table with fellow bridesmaid until more is brought out. Take big piece. (To quote Lord of the Rings: "My precious!!")

8:30PM Program begins, MC starts with game for bridal party. Group version of the shoe game. You are given coloured signs and are required to show the pink side (for Bride) or blue side (for Groom) in response to each question. "Who proposed?" pfft that's a no brainer. Blue. "Who farted first?" Easy haha. Pink. "Who would eat the other first in a zombie apocalypse" What?!  Lol we have to to answer that!? ....cautiously raise sign...Pink? Look at what other's in the party said, majority is pink. Yup that's your Bride. Everyone laughs, what a fun game :)

8:42PM Beautiful toasts are given by the Maid of Honour and Best Man, plus speeches by the Parents of the Bride and Groom. Just enough laughs, not really any tears, but just sentimental enough. Clink glasses with fellow bridesmaids, To the Bride! Yum, this punch is delicious!! Bride and Groom conclude with their thank you's. What a lovely couple!

9:34PM Bride and Groom cut the cake. Snap lots of photos. They feed cake to eachother, Uh oh! Some cake goes down bride's dress! Bridesmaid duty to run to her rescue? Nope that's the Groom's job now and he's mighty thrilled too ;)

9:42PM Bride and Groom's first dance, so much love.

9:58PM The dance begins! Music is so loud can't hear self think. The strobe lights are so bright and flashy can't see straight. The DJ starts the smog machine...cough, cough, hack. But all of it's okay because at this point one doesn't need to think, see, or breath right?! Dance, dance, dance, and Watch Me Nae Nae!

10:36PM Come and go from dance, yell chat some more with friends above the volume of the music, sit at head table and observe others dance. Fun day, but long day. Have Diet Pepsi for caffeine boost, eeew why is diet Pepsi fountain pop so yucky!

10:43PM Join dance again, dance circle forms...ugh you strongly dislike dance circles. No one goes in center of circle and so man with tie on his head starts pulling people into center one at a time. Eeep! He's going in order around the circle. Leave dance circle before he gets to you. Awkward, potentially embarrassing crisis averted. Phew!

11:10PM Bridesmaids want to Nae Nae again, go over to DJ to request song. Tell DJ song name, he can't hear, say it louder, he still can't hear, yell the song name at the DJ, he says they don't have it. Tell him they already played it once and it was too short. He nods.

11:13PM The next song is the Nae Nae song. You dance your hearts out with your Bride and it is awesome.

11:16PM The DJ plays the Nae Nae again. You keep dancing.

11:19PM The Nae Nae is still playing. The Bride is having a good time and gets Groom to join in. He actually does the 'stanky leg'!

11:22PM Time feels like an eternity now. Is it possible to still be dancing the Nae Nae?

11:25PM The Nae Nae is over and the dance proceeds. You don't think you ever want to Nae Nae again. Why do you keep having to say Nae Nae, you don't even know what it means!

11:48PM Bride and Groom are getting ready to leave. There is no official send off so Bridesmaids form an arch together and cheer them off into their happily ever after.

12:37AM Dance is petering out and so is this Bridesmaid. Duty calls to stay to the end.

1:00AM DJ pulls the plug and the reception is officially over. The mint cleanup crew is up and going, gotta get everything packed up.

1:47AM Dreamland is calling, crawl into bed, another dear friend married off, smile to self, a splendid and successful day for sure.

1:48AM Zzzzzzzz